The Golden Elephant Snail (Tylomelania zemis)
Feast your eyes on the cutest snail that has possibly ever existed. This is the Golden Elephant Snail, otherwise known as a Rabbit Snail (Tylomelania zemis).
These snails walk sort of like lumbering elephants, pulling themselves along using their muscular foot while simultaneously sifting through the sand with their ‘trunks.’
They are one of only a few snail species who deliver 1-3 perfectly formed “babies” in individual milky-white egg sacs. Can you imagine how cute these guys must be as teeny-tiny elephants?!
Okay, okay, so this isn’t a land snail, but just look at it! It really does look like a little yellow elephant!
I’ve been rewatching season 3 of Community and I’ve come to the conclusion that I would straight-up marry Britta
There are places where it’s fine to talk about getting high
Don’t fucking do it on Facebook
So I don’t think those free condoms universities hand out suck as much as guys say they do.
Okay, but seriously. If you’re ever considering sexy times with a guy and he tells you that he can’t wear a condom there is a 100.3% chance that he is a liar, and you should definitely not have sex with him. Don’t have sex with liars. Have sex with a cute honest people that bring you ice cream the next morning. Liars do not bring you ice cream. And if they do it’s ice cream made of lies. Ice cream made of lies is very emotionally unfulfilling. Don’t trust liars or their disease-ridden ice cream.
that was the best safe-sex talk ever.
Why I am suspicious of those who say they got pregnant because a condom “broke”…
HAVE ANY OF YOU EVER USED A CONDOM. HAVE ANY OF YOU HAD SEX YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT CONDOMS. SHUT THE FUCK UP. I’m sick of this shit. Just because a condom has a tensile force high enough to withstand inflation does not mean it can comfortably fit any penis. No one wants latex literally stretched against a boner like it is in this pic. A condom that is too small causes added friction which can lead to the condom tearing. If someone tells you it is too small, you LISTEN. YOU DO NOT HAVE RAW SEX WITH THEM. THAT IS NOT WHAT I AM SAYING. YOU GO BUY A MAGNUM. There are even sizes above that. SO NO THERE IS NO EXCUSE TO SAY THAT A PERSON CANNOT WEAR ANY CONDOMS BUT THERE ARE PLENTY OF PEOPLE WHO DO NOT FIT IN CERTAIN SIZES. And whoever the fuck said they don’t believe condoms break is literally fucking stupid as hell. You didn’t even try to think you slut shaming ignorant ass. Condoms do not break from things not fitting in them. They break due to frictional forces without sufficient lubricant and air bubbles trapped in the reservoir tip that push through the latex upon ejaculation. Proper application requires that the tip be pinched to remove this air while it is rolled down the shaft. Very few people know this due to the rampant lack of appropriate sex ed. Proper condom application technique and education is crucial to effective birth control and STI protection. So before you go spouting your ignorant crap, how bout you think about your penised partner and the overall function of a condom and try to spread real education rather than shaming people.
UHHHH THE ONLY PEOPLE BEING SHAMED ARE THOSE WHO TRY TO CON PEOPLE INTO UNPROTECTED SEX BECAUSE IT FEELS BETTER. YOUR HORSE IS A LITTLE HIGH, GET DOWN BEFORE YOU FALL OFF.
No, really though, the condoms given out by universities are pretty much shit. In my personal experience, 100% of the ones I’ve used broke and I just replaced them with a trojan of the same size and it worked out fine. I can see why most guys would think that they’d be too big if that happened, but most guys aren’t educated about that stuff, so get educated. Also never buy economy sized boxes of Durex because that shit just flies right off, and you’re not saving money by buying that crap. You should always go for quality when having sex, and you should always use a good sized condom with a new partner, kids.
For real though, balloons can get pretty big too, but that doesn’t mean they’d fit comfortably over a throbbing erection.
Shitty sex ed hurts both ways, because you’ve got the one group that doesn’t know anything about condoms and disregards them, and then you’ve got the other group that assumes all condoms are created equal and are infallible, perfect devices that never fail.